On My Mind

Lately I have been thinking of what it means to have a close, loving relationship with the Lord. How can a girl attain a daughter to father attachment to her Creator? What does it look like—to love the Lord? If a child truly loves their parents, then the child would listen to and obey them. So if a girl genuinely loves her Heavenly Father, she would be happy and willing to listen to Him and obey His commandments, would she not?

But there must be more to it than just this! For even a servant can happily and willingly obey their master. But we want more than a master-servant relationship! We want a father-daughter relationship.

A father-daughter relationship encompasses many things. Trust, respect, a willingness to hear and obey, and love are among them. "But the greatest of these is love" (1 Corinthians 13:13). Because if a girl truly has love for her father (both Heavenly and earthly) she will want (or should want) to trust, respect, and obey him.

So what does it mean to have a close, loving relationship with the Lord? How can a girl attain a daughter to father attachment to her Creator? I'm not sure that there are any set answers to those questions. God did not give us a "ten easy steps to having a righteous heart" list because He wants us to come to Him asking, "How am I doing, Lord?" Just as there is no checklist on how to be a lady or how to have a modest attitude, so also there is no checklist on how to have a close, loving relationship with the Lord. It is something, I think, that we must search for inside of ourselves.

It is something that we must appeal to God to find.

Sincerely,
Miss S.

The Proper Behavior of a Young Lady

This is a list that I wrote in my journal about a year ago. I revised it a bit and decided to share with all of you!

1: In everything she says she must know what she is saying and why.
Proverbs 10:19

2: She must not be afraid to be looked down upon by the world if she knows what she is doing is right.
1 Peter 3:14

3: When she is interacting with those of the opposite gender she should be reserved. Friendly but not flirtatious. Kind but not showing any particular attention.
1 Timothy 5:1-2

4: The music she listens to, the movies she watches, and the books she reads should have some purpose beyond keeping her entertained.
Philippians 4:8

5: She should prepare herself in every way to be a mother and wife, both in the skills she undertakes to learn, and in the guarding of her heart.
Titus 2:5

6: When children are the occupants of her attention she should be good natured, patient, and happy. She should follow their whims, play the games they want to play, and do the things they want to do. Even if they tire her, she must not tire them.
Matthew 19:14

7: When she is alone she must turn her thoughts to God. She must strive to be the young lady who is pleasing in the sight of the Lord. There is no greater goal than this.
Psalm 139:23-24

Sincerely,
Miss S.

"It Feels Like I Have a Uni-Leg!"

When I was twelve, I was well-known for going barefoot as often as I possibly could. When I wore shoes, I tried to wear exclusively flip-flops. The reason? I didn’t like socks. And likewise, I disliked every pair of shoes that I had to wear socks with. I didn’t like the feeling of my toes being together that much. When asked, I stated that it made me feel like I had a “uni-toe”. : )

Also when I was twelve, I had a great aversion to skirts. I wore pants, capris, and shorts…but very rarely skirts. When asked, you may guess my response. Yes, it made me feel like I had a “uni-leg”!

Then came that notorious day in August. Around three years ago in late August, I met a young lady who was two years older than me, and a beautiful dancer. She wore the prettiest skirts, and when she danced, they would flitter all over the place in a very pretty way. I decided I wanted to be just like her. So I asked my dad, (who just happens to be the Israeli dance teacher at our congregation) to teach me a few dances. And also, to the shock of everyone around me, I stated that I wanted to buy a skirt. Nobody knew why I made this turnaround, and it was several months later before I told anyone the reason.

After that, I decided that maybe skirts weren’t as bad as I thought. They didn’t seem quite as uncomfortable as before. I started wearing skirts a little more often. Around once, maybe twice a week. It was around two years later before I started wearing them daily. And even then, my reasons for doing so were not right. I wore them daily with the thought that I would be seen as a “good” girl, who took consideration to the way she dressed (even though in my heart, I knew I didn’t). After finding the Rebelution’s modesty survey, I saw modesty in a whole new light. I found that if the desire to dress modestly, femininely, etc. was not for the right reasons, then what good would it do? If I dress modestly, but act immodestly, I have failed to understand what modesty truly is. And also if I dress femininely, but act unfeminine, I have failed to understand what femininity truly is.

So now, over three years after first admiring the flowy skirts of the young lady who is now one of my closest friends, I wear skirts every day; not because I want to be seen as “good”, but because God has put it upon my heart to be a lady, and wearing skirts is, for me, very much a part of that.

Sincerely,

Miss S.

A Lady's Heart--Purity

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God."
(Matthew 5:8)

Purity is a priceless gem. Once lost, it can never be regained. Purity of both body and heart are very valuable. Since this series is on a lady's heart, I will focus here on the latter of the two.

Purity of the heart is extremely important. Yet it often goes unnoticed. Often, a girl doesn't realize her emotional purity is fading away until it is too late. Imagine somebody gives you a beautiful charm bracelet with ten shining charms. Each charm is a perfect sapphire, emerald, or ruby. Every time you flirt (consciously or unconsciously) with a guy, or every time you fancy yourself in love, one of the perfect jewel charms is given to that guy. What shame! When you marry, you would only be able to give your husband nine or five or none of those jewels!

"…So it is with Purity. God has given you a special gift (purity) and He wants you to treasure it. When you steal looks at the dashing man in your corner of life, you're starting to corrupt the gift He's given you. When you start giving parts of your heart away to other men, you're giving away your purity as well…"

So how can losing our purity be avoided? Clearly we are unable to protect it by ourselves alone. Ideally, a girl would give her father her heart*. He would guard it diligently and keep it until the right man comes along. Since he is older and consequently gained more wisdom over the years he will know much better than us who is the "right man".

"…Set standards for your future husband. Have in mind what character traits you'd want to see. Just because a guy's "cute" doesn't mean that he's a nice guy. Or he just might be a nice guy but he might not be considerate to authorities, etc. If you have in mind what you want, you won't be as likely to fall into a crush. Ask your dad to scope the guy out if he's asking to court you. Let your dad know what qualities you're looking for. Most importantly, ask God if he's the right man for you…"

"How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Your word."
(Psalm 119:9)

Other scriptures to read and consider would be Psalm 24:3-4, Psalm 73:1, Proverbs 20:11, Proverbs 22:11, Philippians 4:8, 1 Timothy 4:12, and Titus 2:5.

Sincerely,
Miss S.

*I understand that not all girls are able to give their father their heart. Circumstances which separate the father and daughter, or the father being unwilling or unable to accept it would be sad. In such cases it is best for a girl to look to her mother or a mentor, and ultimately, as in everything, to God.

Note: All quotes in italics are taken from Pure Little Ladies Ministry's post What Is "Purity"?.

A Lady's Heart--Modesty

Modesty is a touchy subject. However, it is a subject that needs desperately to be touched on. Many people equate modesty with looking frumpy and dull. Others think of modesty as a set of legalistic rules. True modesty is neither. True modesty begins with a modest heart. If your heart is truly modest, then a desire to dress modestly will spring forth from that.

Modesty has a lot to do with guardianship. Guarding our bodies, guarding our hearts, and in part, guarding the hearts of our brothers in Christ. We guard our bodies by saving what is intimate only for our husbands (or our future husbands); as opposed to flaunting what we've got. We guard our hearts by acting in a modest manner; as opposed to being flirtatious or beguiling. We guard our brother's hearts by not luring them into thinking impure thoughts; as opposed to being a stumbling block by the way we dress.

This last statement is the one I am going to focus on here. Men--good men--appreciate modesty. In their own words they state:

"For those of you trying to be modest, thank you, thank you, thank you! I certainly notice it and am grateful for it. For those of you who aren't sure about modesty, it is hard enough for us guys as it is; please don't make it harder."

"When a girl dresses modestly, it helps to cut down on temptation drastically. Physical purity for guys is just as hard as emotional purity is for girls. Modesty actually makes a girl more beautiful because it shows where her heart is before God."

"As a Christian guy, modesty is SO attractive. I don't mean attractive in a lustful way, but that to see a girl living out God's standards in her life really is beautiful. And you have no idea just how much you would be helping your Christian brothers by being modest. We're not trying to blame you for our impurity, that's between us and God, but you can do so much to encourage and help us in our battle by being modest."

So what is modesty? It's clear that it isn't merely covering a certain number of square inches, but there surely must be some guidelines. For me, if I feel fidgety or self-conscious in something, if it feels uncomfortably tight or short or low, if it draws to much attention to areas that should not draw attention, I consider it immodest. Each day I stand in front of my full length mirror and say to myself, "If I were a guy seeing a girl wearing this, would I stumble?" I ask this question of myself several times. There have been times when I answered yes, so I changed. My goal is to honor God by not causing my brothers in Christ to stumble in their walk with Him.

You can find several more articles pertaining to modesty here, here, and here.

Some scriptures to read and consider would be 1 Peter 3:3, Proverbs 31:30, and 1 Timothy 2:9.

Sincerely,
Miss S.

Note: All quotes in italics are taken from the Rebelution's Modesty Survey. A resource that I HIGHLY recommend.

A Lady's Heart--A Gentle & Quiet Spirit

"But let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God." 1 Peter 3:4

What does it mean to be gentle? There are different types of gentleness. There is gentleness of speech, and there is gentleness of actions. There is one who gently comforts when someone is sad, and one who gently soothes when someone is angry.

Let us take a moment to look up the word gentle. The Encarta Dictionary describes it as "having a mild and kind nature or manner" and "having a gracious and honorable manner".

It is a very disagreeable thing to see someone who is not gentle. You can almost tell by the tone of their voice that they are harsh or rowdy. For example (I like examples) let's say a little boy is crying. A very obnoxious girl comes up to him and says in a rough voice, "Stop crying you crybaby! Do you know how obnoxious that is?!?" Another girl would come up to him a moment later and tenderly say, "It's all right. You're going to be okay. Will you tell me why you're crying?" You see, the behavior of the first is hostile and unfavorable. On the other hand, the second is gentle and kind.

A gentle voice is a wonderful quality in a girl. In Proverbs 15:1 it says "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Here is a quote from the book Beautiful Girlhood:

"A girl is known by her words. Generally the first impression she makes upon strangers is made by her speech. Some remark falls upon their ears, and they form an opinion of the speaker founded upon the nature of that remark. If she is heard speaking considerately and sympathetically, they think of her as kind and agreeable; but if she is loud and boisterous in her speech, or if her remark is unkind and spiteful, they form the opposite opinion…Every girl should form the habit of speaking in a gentle tone. While she is young the vocal organs can be trained to give out soft tones. Who is it who does not admire a soft and tender tone in a woman's voice? I have always felt sorry for older women who have from childhood spoken in a loud or harsh tone of voice, for it is practically impossible for them to do otherwise now. But girls can have gentle voices if they will."

Other scriptures to read and consider would be Galatians 5:23, Ephesians 4:2, Philippians 4:5, Colossians 3:12, 1 Timothy 6:11, and Titus 3:2.

Stay tuned for the upcoming article on modesty.

Sincerely,
Miss S.

A Lady's Heart--Cheerfulness

It is often said that the mood you have affects those around you. And it is true! If you've ever been around me when I'm being a grump, you'll know what I mean. The same is true on the other side too. In Proverbs it tells us "A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones." (Proverbs 17:22)

Here is an excerpt from the book Beautiful Girlhood on the subject of cheerfulness:

"Every girl owes it to herself and to her associates to be sunny. A happy girlhood is so beautiful that it cannot afford to be spoiled by needless frowns and pouts. There are clouds enough in life without making them out of temper. A girl who is full of smiles and sunshine is a fountain of joy to all who know her. The world has enough of tears and sorrow at best, and her sweet, smiling face can scatter untold clouds. Could a girl ask for a better calling than that of a joy maker for all about her?"

Now I'm not saying we have to be happy all the time, that is impossible for anyone, I'm only saying that in certain situations a cheerful smile and a kind word can stop in its tracks a feeling of impatience or frustration. Here is another quote:

"Every girl must meet her share of bumps in life. If they do not come soon, they must come late. It is impossible that she should pass through life in the sunshine all the time. She must have her share of shadow. She cannot escape it. But it is not the deep shadows that generally cloud a girl’s life and make her unhappy and sullen. It is the little things, insignificant in themselves, and which could have been passed by with hardly a thought if resisted one by one, that irritate the temper and mar the happiness. Every day our girl will meet with circumstances in which she has her choice between frowning and sending back a stinging retort, or smiling and passing them by with a kind word. If she can pass these little bumps and keep sweet, then she has mastered the art of being sunny."

I've found that even when I am out of temper, if I smile and say something soft or sweet, it almost always changes my mood. It makes both me and those around me feel happier and more at ease! A cheerful attitude makes such a difference!

Other scriptures to read and consider would be Job 9:27, Proverbs 12:25, 15:11, 15:15, Romans 12:6-8, and 2 Corinthians 9:7.

Stay tuned for the upcoming article on gentleness.

Sincerely,
Miss S.

A Lady's Heart--Honesty & Little White Lies

The ninth of the Ten Commandments states clearly, "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor." (Exodus 20:16)

In the book of Proverbs it says, "Like a club and a sword and a sharp arrow is a man who bears false witness against his neighbor." (25:18) it also says, "A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who tells lies will perish." (19:9)

It is clear that telling a lie is serious. To swear falsely in a court of law and bear a false witness would mean severe punishment for the person one is swearing against. But what about all of those "little lies"? It doesn't seem to be a big deal if I say I emptied the trash, but really didn't. Or if I say I'm reading a certain book, but I'm really not. Pretending to read a certain book doesn't sound bad at all. Especially when compared with testifying falsely in a court of law!

Though "little", these lies are big stumbling blocks when it comes to trust. If we can't even rely on our friends or family to tell the truth in "trivial" things, does that not affect our perception of what they say when it comes to important things? Also, it hurts to find out that our trust in a person is broken.

When we lie, even with something that seems insignificant, we must always examine our motives for lying. Are we lying to gain revenge? Vengeance belongs to God. Are we lying to hide our guilt? It is better to own it. Once we see what our "reasons" are, it is easier to see how wrong we are for lying.

So why am I equating such a big thing to such a little thing? Surely testifying in a court of law falsely isn't as bad as a little "white" lie, right? This is my reason. In God's eyes sin is sin. Whether murder or hatred, adultery or lust, big lies or little lies, it is all sin. It is a joy to God when we turn from wrong and follow Him.

Other scriptures to read and consider would be Proverbs 3:3, 8:13, 12:17-19, 14:25, Ephesians 4:25, Zechariah 8:16, and John 3:21.

Stay tuned for the upcoming article on cheerfulness.

Sincerely,
Miss S.

A Lady's Heart--Respect & Honor - Part Two

The second form of respect I want to talk about is respect for children. Though the bible speaks of kindness and consideration toward children, it doesn't directly command us to "respect" or "honor" them (as it does with authority and the aged). However, it is clear that children are not to be looked down upon. The Messiah Himself said, "Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." (Matthew 19:14)

Since the hearts, minds, and lives of children are so important, should we not do all we can to honor that importance? The amount of respect a child receives plays a significant role in how they view themselves when they become adults. For example, if a child, when talking about something they consider interesting, hears only a disinterested and sarcastic, "That's nice," it is obvious to them that what they are saying is dull to the person to whom they are talking. If this happens to them repeatedly, they will begin to think that all their interests are dull, and consequently that they themselves are dull. This way of thinking may continue into their adulthood. It could lead them to assume they have nothing important to add to conversation, or that they have nothing interesting to say to anyone. After all, if they think themselves dull, they wouldn't want to make anyone else's life dull by their company. Simple things we do can make a big difference in how a child views his or her self.

It is important to show respect and honor to elders, but children also need respect. The kind of respect we ought to give a child is the kind of respect we would have liked to have had as children. The aged need respect because of the wisdom they've gained and the experiences they've had. The children need respect because they have great potential to become wise, and to experience great things. With our encouragement and support, the children in our lives have a much greater possibility of reaching their potential.

Children are no less important than grown men and women. The only thing that sets them apart from adults is growth (physically and mentally) and age. The golden rule applies not only to those equal in age, but also to those younger and older.

Other scriptures to read and consider would be Luke 6:31, Proverbs 22:6, Proverbs 14:26, and Galatians 5:14

Stay tuned for the upcoming article on honesty.

Sincerely,
Miss S.

A Lady's Heart--Respect & Honor - Part One

In 1 Peter 2:18 it says:

"Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable."

Respect is not always simply 'being nice', sometimes (many times, actually) in order to show respect, you must do what you are told to do, even if it is 'unreasonable'. I'll give an example. Let's say Alice is walking on the beach. She is thinking of how soft and warm the sand is when it squishes between her toes. After a while, Alice's sister comes up to her and says, "Alice, you need to put shoes on." This may seem ridiculous. After all, the sand is so soft and warm and clear. Alice asks a simple question, "Why?" Her sister replies, "Because mom said so." Alice should need no other command. Even though wearing shoes may seem ridiculous to her, her mother may have good reasons why she should. Though the command may appear unreasonable, it is a command and it should be followed.

So it is with nearly all authority. Not only with our parents or our political leaders, but with all those whose experiences have taught them what is better and what is worse. I'm not saying that everyone who is older is right, but when someone gives advice it should be carefully considered, and when someone gives a command, if it isn't contrary to the laws that God has placed on us, it should be followed.

In Proverbs 16:31 it says:

"A gray head is a crown of glory; it is found in the way of righteousness."

As I said above, those who have gone before us have gained a knowledge that nothing but experience can help them gain*. They've gone through much more than we have. They've had more sorrows and more joys. They can give better advice, because they've seen how things have turned out before. Their life and the information they've obtained in their life deserves recognition and respect.

Other scriptures to read and consider would be Exodus 20:12, Leviticus 19:32, Proverbs 4:1, 23:22, Ephesians 6:1, Titus 3:1, and 1 Timothy 5:1.

To be continued...

Sincerely,
Miss S.

*Please note that I am speaking in generalities here. I'm not referring to all the "gray haired" people in the world. I'm speaking mainly of those more elderly people who have lived a full life and who have a love for God. Their advice is indispensible.

Beautiful Girlhood

This is a book which has had a great impact on my life. If I'd had the opportunity to read it earlier, it may have had an even greater impact. It is a lovely book originally written by Mabel Hale in 1922. I haven't read the original, though I am sure it is lovely as well, so the version I recommend is the one that is revised by Karen Andreola.

It is geared toward girls who are experiencing coming into young womanhood. If I were asked to put an age on it, I would say 10-13. However, it has less to do with one's age and more to do with one's level of maturity. So, it is a book I would recommend to any girl of any age, young or old.

It is (I say again) a lovely book. Its chapters are each devoted to a specific character trait. The language may be a little old-fashioned, but the lessons taught very much apply in our world today. It touches on honesty, ambitions, home life, and friendships to name a few. I highly recommend it to any girl who is striving to be a biblical lady.

Sincerely,
Miss S.