"It Feels Like I Have a Uni-Leg!"

When I was twelve, I was well-known for going barefoot as often as I possibly could. When I wore shoes, I tried to wear exclusively flip-flops. The reason? I didn’t like socks. And likewise, I disliked every pair of shoes that I had to wear socks with. I didn’t like the feeling of my toes being together that much. When asked, I stated that it made me feel like I had a “uni-toe”. : )

Also when I was twelve, I had a great aversion to skirts. I wore pants, capris, and shorts…but very rarely skirts. When asked, you may guess my response. Yes, it made me feel like I had a “uni-leg”!

Then came that notorious day in August. Around three years ago in late August, I met a young lady who was two years older than me, and a beautiful dancer. She wore the prettiest skirts, and when she danced, they would flitter all over the place in a very pretty way. I decided I wanted to be just like her. So I asked my dad, (who just happens to be the Israeli dance teacher at our congregation) to teach me a few dances. And also, to the shock of everyone around me, I stated that I wanted to buy a skirt. Nobody knew why I made this turnaround, and it was several months later before I told anyone the reason.

After that, I decided that maybe skirts weren’t as bad as I thought. They didn’t seem quite as uncomfortable as before. I started wearing skirts a little more often. Around once, maybe twice a week. It was around two years later before I started wearing them daily. And even then, my reasons for doing so were not right. I wore them daily with the thought that I would be seen as a “good” girl, who took consideration to the way she dressed (even though in my heart, I knew I didn’t). After finding the Rebelution’s modesty survey, I saw modesty in a whole new light. I found that if the desire to dress modestly, femininely, etc. was not for the right reasons, then what good would it do? If I dress modestly, but act immodestly, I have failed to understand what modesty truly is. And also if I dress femininely, but act unfeminine, I have failed to understand what femininity truly is.

So now, over three years after first admiring the flowy skirts of the young lady who is now one of my closest friends, I wear skirts every day; not because I want to be seen as “good”, but because God has put it upon my heart to be a lady, and wearing skirts is, for me, very much a part of that.

Sincerely,

Miss S.

A Lady's Heart--Modesty

Modesty is a touchy subject. However, it is a subject that needs desperately to be touched on. Many people equate modesty with looking frumpy and dull. Others think of modesty as a set of legalistic rules. True modesty is neither. True modesty begins with a modest heart. If your heart is truly modest, then a desire to dress modestly will spring forth from that.

Modesty has a lot to do with guardianship. Guarding our bodies, guarding our hearts, and in part, guarding the hearts of our brothers in Christ. We guard our bodies by saving what is intimate only for our husbands (or our future husbands); as opposed to flaunting what we've got. We guard our hearts by acting in a modest manner; as opposed to being flirtatious or beguiling. We guard our brother's hearts by not luring them into thinking impure thoughts; as opposed to being a stumbling block by the way we dress.

This last statement is the one I am going to focus on here. Men--good men--appreciate modesty. In their own words they state:

"For those of you trying to be modest, thank you, thank you, thank you! I certainly notice it and am grateful for it. For those of you who aren't sure about modesty, it is hard enough for us guys as it is; please don't make it harder."

"When a girl dresses modestly, it helps to cut down on temptation drastically. Physical purity for guys is just as hard as emotional purity is for girls. Modesty actually makes a girl more beautiful because it shows where her heart is before God."

"As a Christian guy, modesty is SO attractive. I don't mean attractive in a lustful way, but that to see a girl living out God's standards in her life really is beautiful. And you have no idea just how much you would be helping your Christian brothers by being modest. We're not trying to blame you for our impurity, that's between us and God, but you can do so much to encourage and help us in our battle by being modest."

So what is modesty? It's clear that it isn't merely covering a certain number of square inches, but there surely must be some guidelines. For me, if I feel fidgety or self-conscious in something, if it feels uncomfortably tight or short or low, if it draws to much attention to areas that should not draw attention, I consider it immodest. Each day I stand in front of my full length mirror and say to myself, "If I were a guy seeing a girl wearing this, would I stumble?" I ask this question of myself several times. There have been times when I answered yes, so I changed. My goal is to honor God by not causing my brothers in Christ to stumble in their walk with Him.

You can find several more articles pertaining to modesty here, here, and here.

Some scriptures to read and consider would be 1 Peter 3:3, Proverbs 31:30, and 1 Timothy 2:9.

Sincerely,
Miss S.

Note: All quotes in italics are taken from the Rebelution's Modesty Survey. A resource that I HIGHLY recommend.